Larry's Musings

Crazy Awesome Camping weekend - I think my son's hooked!

This weekend was my 6-year old son's first camping trip with his cub scout pack. Our pack is part of the Mount Diablo / Silverado council, and they maintain a camp in the Santa Cruz mountains, which is where we went. I don't think I'd ever seen him have such a great time. Here are some of the things that we did:

Hiking: We went on a couple of short hikes to get to the farther points of the camp, where the nature trail and the ranges were. As we walked, we found the perfect hiking sticks for myself and him, which we ended up cutting to length and smoothing out.

Archery: This was my son's favorite activity. At first, he needed a little help setting up the arrow and keeping it in place as he drew it back, but being only 6, I was amazed at how quickly he got the hang of it (and that he was strong enough to do it effectively). The range also had an area with balloons and other fun things to shoot, which caused a lot of excitement. Retrieving the arrows was also an excuse to go wandering up the hill behind the range to find the arrows that were overshot.

BB Guns: Although he enjoyed this activity (and I had originally thought that this would have been his favorite), It didn't rate as high as some of the others. I think it's because the stock on the gun was a little long for him, and he had to hold it in an unnatural position to line up the sights. The action of the gun was also a bit complicated, which means that I needed to do more handholding than was necessary for Archery, for example.

Sling-shot shooting: He had a lot of fun with this, but the surgical tubing in the sling-shot tired him out a bit faster, which limited the number of shots. Also the targets weren't quite as fun as the ones in the BB gun or Archery.

Knots and Knife Skills: My son was able to earn his whittling chit by demonstrating that he understood safe whittling skills on a bar of soap with a plastic knife (of course, now he wants to know when he can get his own pocketknife). He also got to try his hand at knot tying with a very cool lenght of cord that he brought home with him.

Woodworking: He got to use a drill press, a belt sander, glue, hammer, and nails to build a CD holder. Power Tools. Need I say more?

Pumpkin Carving: My son also got to carve his pumpkin pretty much by himself (I got to do the dirty work of scraping the inside of the pumpkin because he got a little tired halfway through, but the rest was all him). He was so proud that this was the first thing he showed his mom when we got home.

Flag Ceremony Each morning and evening before meals, there was a cremony for raising the flag, or lowering it. All the scouts had to dress up in their uniform, stand at attention, and participate in it.

Faux Campfire: Because of the fire danger, we couldn't have a real campfire. However, the staff put on a pretend campfire with skits, songs, etc. Each of the scouting dens put on their own skit as well. The staff were amazing. One of the skits they put on, had me on the floor laughing. I'll try to describe it here:

There were 3 people pretending to be blind. One of them announced that they were hunting (they each had a stick that the pretended was a rifle). They were hunting mimes (as in mimes who are silent and pretend they're in different situations using body language only). As the blind folks wander around the area, out come 3 other folks who are the mimes (and they did a great job with the big smiles on their faces and wide-open eyes). The mimes begin with standard mime routines, but eventually start using the routines to capture the hunters. One uses a pretend lasso to capture and tie up one hunter. Another creates a box around another hunter, and the third mime uses a fishing routine to catch the last hunter. This had to be one of the funniest things I'd ever seen.

Activities within the pack: Our pack (which is chartered at our local elementary school), were allowed to have charcoal campfires in our firepit, so we could have our own small campfire. The younger kids would bring me sticks that I would whittle the ends to a point for putting marshmallows on, while the older kids would do this themselves. I also used this time to work on both my son's and my hiking sticks.

Mealtimes: The staff were incredibly accomodating at mealtimes with respect to my son's diet (life-threatening allergies to milk products, beef, pork, shellfish, and nuts). Whenever possible, he ate what everybody else did (but he had his own little cafeteria line where there was no risk of cross-contamination), and I had already checked with them on the meal plan and brought what I needed to fill the gaps (such as frozen teryaki chicken, cooked noodles, luncheon turkey meat). Because of this, the allergies weren't much of an issue and he could be involved at mealtimes.

My son's question to me as we left: "Dad, I wish we could stay one more night, go home tomorrow, and then come back the next day..."

posted by Larry Grey @ 9:25 PM 0 comments

MEMOS FROM YOUR CHILD

• Don't spoil me. I know quite well I shouldn't have all I ask for. I'm only testing you.
• Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it; it makes me feel secure.
• Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
• Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly "big."
• Don't correct me in front of people if you can help it. I'll take much more notice if you talk quietly in private.
• Don't protect me from consequences, I need to learn the painful way sometime.
• Don't make me feel my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.
• Don't be too upset when I say, "I hate you." It isn't you I hate, but your power to thwart me.
• Don't take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get the attention I need.
• Don't nag. If you do, I'll have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
• Don't make rash promises. I feel badly let down when promises are broken.
• Don't forget that I can't explain myself as well as I'd like. This is why I'm not always very accurate.
• Don't tax my honesty too much. I am easily frightened into telling lies.
• Don't be inconsistent. It completely confuses me and makes me lose my faith in you.
• Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you'll find I stop asking and seek information elsewhere.
• Don't tell me my fears are silly. They're terribly real.
• Don't ever suggest that you're perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I find out you're neither.
• Don't ever think it's beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me surprisingly warm toward you.
• Don't forget I love experimenting. I can't get on without it, so please put up with it.
• Don't forget how quickly I'm growing up. It must be hard to keep pace with me, but please try.

When you read this carefully, you realize the important truths that lie behind each reminder. Pass it along to your friends who are parents. Post it up on your bathroom mirror for helpful support when the days with your preschoolers seem too much.

Children would tell us these things, if they could only articulate them.
________________________________________
© Growing Child 2008 Please feel free to forward this article to a friend.

My wife forwarded this to me today from Growing Child, a newsletter we started receiving as a benefit as a PeopleSoft employee in 1999. If your employer doesn't provide this to you, I would highly recommend subscribing to it yourself.

posted by Larry Grey @ 11:13 AM 0 comments

My take on Allergen-free Peanuts...

Yesterday evening, I watched a news report that discussed work that's been done to make allergen-free peanuts. Although I think the research is important and valuable, I'm extremely concerned about the way the work has been positioned. Words like "rest easy", "thing of the past", "may soon be history" are associated with this finding, which is dangerous.

For those not familiar with this development, here is the UPI article on it. Here's another article that has even more information.

Looks exciting... So, what's the problem?
It is exciting. However, the research does not cure the allergy, but tries to eliminate the compounds that trigger the allergic reaction. In other words, people who are allergic to peanuts will continue to be allergic to peanuts what aren't treated to remove the allergens.

Here are a few facts that are important to this discussion:

• The vast majority (upwards of 80%) of deaths due to food allergy occur when the person ingests a food they didn't know contained the substance to which they were allergic.
• Unless parents of children with severe food allergies imprison them in their own home, those children will be put in positions where they will be offered food and will have to make their own decisions as to whether the food is safe for them to eat.

Here's a pretty chilling CNN article that shows the tragic ramifications of both of these facts working together. I contend that deaths due to accidental exposure to peanuts will increase, not decrease if the benefits of the allergy-free peanuts are over-hyped.

What do you mean?
Managing food allergies is similar to being a security guard. There are many ways that bad guys can get in to do bad things. Similarly, there are many ways that children can get exposed to their allergens. If you don't remain vigilant with respect to the contents of the food and don't keep an epipen on hand, you're just asking for trouble.

Here are some examples of what I mean:

• A child is given allergy-free peanut butter and believes that he's cured of his allergy.
• A child is at a friend's house who's parents don't take the time to check the ingredients of a cookie they feed him (after he asks what's in it), because they believe peanut allergies have gone away (or that all cookies contain allergen-free peanuts).
• A child (or parent) diligently checks ingredients, but the labeling is confusing to them (it says peanuts, but is it the safe ones)?

And, if you think that you can guarantee that the world's food supply will be rid of peanuts that aren't treated to remove the allergens, you're kidding yourself. The allergens occur naturally in the food, which means that they will always be somewhere where your child will be exposed to it.

Our experience with food allergies
For those who haven't read my posting that describes the food allergies that my son has and what we've had to do to manage it, here's a link to it. The Cliff's Notes version of it is that our son has peanut-type food allergies to many foods, including dairy, beef, and pork. Because those allergies are life threatening and are to so many foods, we're always thinking about it. This means that we always look at the ingredients of foods and we always carry our emergency kit with us (a pack with benedryl, an epipen, and an inhaler). Because we're always on high alert, we're also always prepared.

If our son was only allergic to one food, I think it would be a lot harder to keep him safe in the long-run. We wouldn't be as diligent looking at food, and we'd be more lax about the emergency kit.

So, what do I think of this new development
I think it's a really good thing, but I also don't think that we should change our behavior based on it. In other words, we should go ahead and wherever possible treat peanuts that are in our food supply. This will reduce the number of accidental exposures.

We should not encourage people with peanut allergies to eat products with treated peanuts in them. The treatment of peanuts should be done as a defensive step only. Incorporating peanuts (even treated peanuts) into the diet of an allergic persion is asking for trouble:

• Children will be confused as to whether it's safe to eat peanuts in general or not. Keep in mind, that young children look at things as black-and-white. If they safely ate peanuts once, then they believe they can always eat them. Unless untreated peanuts are removed from the food supply, this confusion will prove to be fatal in many circumstances.
• Any lapse in the treatment process can also prove fatal. Remember in February, when people died from salmonella-tainted peanut butter? Can we really guarantee that similar lapses don't occur in the treatment process (because if it does occur, it could be even more tragic).

I also believe that anything we can learn about what goes on in the body (and what can be done to affect it) with respect to allergies is also a good thing. I'm hoping that we can take what we learned about removing the allergens from peanuts use it in other ways.

• Take the technology and find a way to turn off or remove the allergens inside the body. Again, this isn't a cure for the allergy, but it is a safer way to ensure the allergen does not cause an allergic reaction. Instead of worrying about whether a food was treated, the allergic persion can take control of the situation. They would know when they're safe and know when they aren't.
• Find a way where lay people can treat their food before they eat it. Even if it's not something that a person can bring with them, if a restaraunt (or your microwave oven) could have an "allergen-zapper", you could make it safer by knowing that the food preparation removed the allergens (of course if the "allergen-zapper" isn't working properly, one could still get exposed).

posted by Larry Grey @ 10:02 AM 0 comments

Damned if you do....

Here is a classic case of being "damned if you do, damned if you don't".

Last week, all shelves in our master bedroom closet collapsed. It was quite an impressive sound. It was an even more impressive sight when we walked in and saw the carnage: all our clothes in a heap on the floor with some of the shelving on top, but some still partially attached to the wall.

Needless to say, I was the one who had his to-do list have one more item added.

Of course, the first order of business was to relocate all our clothes. This meant finding places to put it (the guest closet, the futon in the guest bedroom, the floor of the bedroom). Knowing how much clutter bothered my wife, I knew that I had limited time to address this problem.

So, here comes the dilemma. I have a deadline for putting new shelving in the closet, but I also know that my wife's picky about the layout of things. She also doesn't like change very much (but yet unless we changed the use of the closet space, it would be a matter of time before too much was put on the shelves again).

So, off I went to the container store in Walnut Creek. My good friend, Brian, went with me and we had a salesperson assist us to design a new closet using Elfa products. Originally, our closet had a single row of the white wire shelving for hanging shirts and stacking up things on top. The new closet would make better use of the space by having multiple rows of shelving, and by moving the hangers to where they would have just enough room, but not waste too much space.

Based on what I knew of my wife's desires (which was to have as much hanging space as possible, and to make it so that she didn't have to reach too high to get at her hanging clothes), we tweaked the design. Then came the ultimate question: Do I run the design past her?

Here are the pros for running it past her:

1. She doesn't get angry with me for not including her in the decision.

Here are the cons for running it past her:

1. It will delay the process for about a week. In the meantime, the clutter stays around the house and she gets crankier every day.
2. She will insist on duplicating the old design because she's comfortable with the old layout. This means that we will continue to waste storage space (which is sorely needed), and we will overload the existing shelves.

Of course the fact that everything was returnable, and that I could adjust the design as needed after installing it told me not to run it past her.

I spent Friday evening installing the shelving. When I was done, my wife came in and threw a fit at me (So, I was damned by doing it). I made a few adjustments afterward.

On Saturday, she didn't touch it.

On Sunday, after I put a few sample things in a few different locations and made another adjuistment, she moved her stuff in. After moving everything, we still have about half of the shelving empty (which was my point).

Looking back on it, however, I'm sure I could have handled it better and found a way to accomplish this without springing something on her. Something to ruminate on.

posted by Larry Grey @ 9:47 AM 0 comments

Okay. It's official. I'm old.

Just saw the following on Reuters.

I've been recently getting into news aggregators, thanks to my friend Chris Heller who's been using them forever (and I've been jealous as to how up-to-date he always is). I also use IM. I hope that makes up for my rampant use of email. Otherwise, I see a midlife crisis coming on (which I thought I was already taking care of by quitting my job and starting my own company with a few of my friends).

posted by Larry Grey @ 11:19 PM 0 comments

Raising a child with sever food allergies...

I'm posting this entry for anybody who ends up raising a child with severe food allergies.

When I first discovered the severity of my son's condition and the ongoing changes in it, I know I would have liked to have read a blog entry from a parent who had already gone through this.

My son is allergic to almost all foods. However, if he is exposed to even minute amounts of milk, dairy, beef or pork products, he could have a fatal allergic reaction. Although we knew of the milk allergy before he was 1 year old, the other allergies manifested themselves between the age of 1 and 2. When he was 1 1/2 years old, he had a potentially fatal reaction to a breakfast sausage that he had been eating safely for several months previously.

That was the point when things began spiraling out of control. We identified beef and pork as additional allergens to the milk we had previously identified from testing performed after that reaction. Over the next several weeks, he began reacting (through hives) to other foods he was eating. We were at wits end, because we had no idea how we would give him the nutrition he needed, and how to keep him safe.

Those were the dark times. Although his condition is essentially the same as about a year ago (he's 2 1/2 now), things are going extremely well. Better than we could have imagined:

1. He has not had a severe reaction since then (knock on wood).
2. He is perfectly healthy. He has gained about 12 pounds since his initial reaction and is above average in height and weight.
3. He is an extremely happy, confident, outgoing, and energetic 2 year old boy.
4. We have figured out how to keep him safe at both home and at his day care.

How did we accomplish this? Here is what we did:

1. We put him on a product called NeoCate. For a brief period of time, outside of water, this was the only thing we were allowed to feed him. Believe it or not, just knowing that this product existed would have prevented many sleepless nights. We had all sorts of nightmares about our son having stunted growth and starving to death because we would be able to feed him anything. NeoCate gives him all the nutrition he needs to grow and thrive.
2. We came up with new processes to follow at home and at his day care. These processes fell into two categories: one for preventing a reaction, and one for treating a reaction.

Processes for Preventing an allergic reaction

Here is the secret we follow for preventing an allergic reaction: first, empower the child to manage his diet appropriately; and second, empower his day care providers. It took us a while to figure this out, but fortunately, our son helped us through this process (yes, we learned how to do this from a 1 1/2 year old boy). If you can give your child the tools to identify which foods are safe for him to consume, you've done the most you possibly could do to prevent allergic reactions.

You're never going to be able to educate all people your child comes in contact with about his condition, and many people won't believe you. Also, children do not enjoy allergic reactions. They will try to avoid one if all possible, if they've had enough of them.

For us, this is our strategy for allowing our son to manage his diet:

1. The cups that hold his Neocate are always of the same type and color, and are also clearly labeled with his name on blue painters tape. This is especially important, because Neocate looks the same as milk (which he could die from exposure to). In addition to this, we do not EVER call his Neocate "milk" (we want to make sure he doesn't walk up to somebody, ask for milk, and then have them give him milk). We call it "nook" (which is a name that he came up with... Neocate is a little hard for a 1 year old to say).
2. We make sure that any other foods he eats are clear to him as to what's in them. This is also very important, because as tempting as it is to jump through hoops to cook him a birthday cake that is safe for him to eat; we do not want him thinking that any cakes are safe for him to eat. Therefore, we make sure that when he eats chicken, he knows that it's chicken. When he eats fruit, he knows that it's fruit. We stay away from foods that could confuse him (such as hot dogs).
3. We have him participate in getting his meals. There's a special place where his Neocate is kept in the refridgerator, and his foods are also kept where he can reach them. This way, he is always involved in his diet and he always knows where his food came from.
4. We have trained his day care providers, and have provided them with the Preschool Guide to Managing Food Allergies (from the food allergy and anaphylaxis network). It was very hard to find the order form, so here is a link to it.

Processes for dealing with an allergic reaction.

Here is what we do to make sure that we're always ready for an allergic reaction. We have accepted that it will be impossible to completely prevent allergic reactions from occurring. Therefore, we are sure that we (and his care givers) are always prepared.

We have a fanny pack with everything we need to handle an allergic reaction (and have it with us at all times). The fanny pack has the following in it:

1. A bottle of Benadryl as well as a medicine dropper. If administered early, Benadryl will stop most allergic reactions. Your doctor will be able to tell you the dosage, etc.
2. His EpiPen. Any child who's in danger of having an Anaphylactic reaction (the ones they could die from) should always, always, always have an EpiPen with him.
3. A copy of his medical insurance card.
4. A copy of a letter from his doctor, which has the following section sin it: a section that describes his condition, a section that describes how to identify and treat an allergic reaction (which is intended for any caregivers), and a section that tells emergency personnel how to treat him in the event of an anaphylactic reaction.
5. A copy of his doctor's contact information.
6. The EpiPen Trainer, so that we can train any new caregivers as to how to administer the EpiPen as we go over the contents of the fanny pack.

The important thing about the fanny pack is that it goes wherever the child goes. When he is at day care, it stays there. When he is in the car, it is there. This way, anybody who is caring for him has the tools they need to deal with an allergic condition.

We also have an extra version of the fanny pack at his day care, so that we don't have to worry about forgetting it (sometimes drop-off and pick-up at day care can be hectic enough), as well as extra EpiPens and bottles of Benadryl at home.

Finally, we are always careful about who we leave our son with. We feel that the responsibility of caring for a child with severe allergies is too much to ask of most teenagers, so we only leave him with adults that we feel understand his condition, and would be willing and able to deal with an emergency. Fortunately, several of the teachers at his day care also babysit, so we use them.

The silver lining

Although all of this may seem overwhelming, it's actually now part of our normal routine. Yes, we have to stay vigilant, but it's not an all-consuming issue (just like you have to stay vigilant when you live near a busy street, or a body of water).

What's impressed me the most, however, is how much I've learned about the capabilities of my son. Although I would not wish this on anybody, I believe that my son has learned some very valuable lessons:

1. He is very organized. He helps his teachers pick up the room, and recognizes that everything has its place.
2. He accepts disappointment gracefully. The fact that he can't eat the same things as his sister or his classmates is something he understands, and that understanding translates to other areas of his life, where he may not get everything other people get.
3. He is very self confident. I was worried that his allergies would erode his confidence. However, because we were able to come up with rules he could understand, and because he feels confident in his ability to manage his allergies, he is extremely confident in his ability to accomplish whatever he puts his mind to. In addition, we have not let his food allergies define who he is.

posted by Larry Grey @ 11:29 PM 0 comments

What happened to Giant Tinker Toys???

Okay. Kind of negative for a first blog entry, but I just can't believe it.

My wife was looking for the perfect gift for my nephew's 4th birthday. I told her the toy that I used the most was my Giant Tinker Toy set. Not only could I build a rocket, ship, airplane, train, tank, castle, and spacestation, but I could also play in them.

I did a quick google on it to see where they sold them (I figured that since they still sold the regular kind, you must be able to find the Giant ones). No luck. There was a single ebay posting for a used set.

That's really a shame. I can't think of a better toy to get kids thinking as an engineer, architect, or product designer. I wonder if they were pulled off the market because the manufacturer was sued by somebody who injured themselves by building a bridge across a canyon that wouldn't support their weight.

posted by Larry Grey @ 11:14 PM 3 comments